Shipping Policy
Fast, discreet shipping - every order, every time... most of the time
I get it. When you order something like this, the wait is the worst part. You just want it to show up, quietly, as fast as possible. That's exactly how I run this shop.
Processing time
Orders ship the same day whenever possible, and next business day at the latest. This is a one-person operation, which means there's no warehouse queue, no fulfillment delays, and no waiting around for someone else to get to your order. As soon as it comes in, I'm on it. However, I do have a day job that requires some light travel from time to time which could extend processing time by a day two - but that is pretty uncommon.
Discreet packaging — always
Every order ships in a plain brown box with no branding, no product images, and no mention of what's inside anywhere on the exterior. The return address shows a generic sender name. Whoever sees the package on your porch, in your mailroom, or at your front desk will have no idea what's in it. That's a promise, not an upgrade.
Shipping methods and delivery times
Orders ship via USPS from Texas. Standard delivery typically takes 2–5 business days within the US depending on your location. Tracking information is emailed automatically once your label is created, so you'll know exactly where your package is from the moment it leaves my hands.
Shipping costs
Shipping rates are calculated at checkout based on your location and the size of your order.
Address accuracy
Please double-check your shipping address before completing checkout. If a package is returned to me because of an incorrect or incomplete address, I'll reach out to arrange reshipment, but additional shipping costs may apply.
Lost or delayed packages
Once a package is handed off to USPS, delivery is in their hands. If your tracking hasn't updated in several days or your package seems stuck, reach out and I'll help you figure out what's going on and work with you to make it right.
Questions?
If you have any questions about your order or shipping, just contact me directly. Since it's just me here, you're talking to the person who packed your box.
International shipping
Yes, I ship worldwide. International orders go out with the same same-day/next-day processing and the same plain brown box discretion as domestic orders. Delivery times vary quite a bit by destination - anywhere from about 7 to 21 business days once the package leaves my hands, depending on your country and how quickly it clears customs.
A heads up on customs, duties, VAT, and import taxes
I do not collect VAT, GST, customs duties, or any other import taxes at checkout at this time. As the buyer, you are responsible for any fees your country charges to bring the package in. These are billed by your local customs authority or carrier on delivery, not by me, and they're separate from what you paid for shipping. The amount varies by country, so if you're not sure what to expect, it's worth a quick search for your country's import rules before ordering.
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I also can't mark packages as "gift" or declare a value lower than what you paid - customs forms have to reflect the actual contents and price.
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Once a package leaves the US, tracking can get spotty depending on the destination country's postal system. I'll help however I can if something goes sideways, but please understand that international transit is largely out of my hands once it's in the mail stream.